Adult shit inside. If you're easily offended, then you really shouldn't be reading my website, should you?

If portals were real, would giving yourself a handjob through them feel like someone else jerking you off? Speaking of which, could you fuck yourself?

Why are there so many kinds of paper plates? Seriously, I went to pick up a package of paper plates and there was a goddamn aisle full of them. What the fuck? They've even got paper plates that are meant to be reused! That defeats the whole purpose of paper plates!

Grease-resistant, microwave safe, oven safe. What the fuck is an oven safe paper plate? Paper and fire don't fucking mix. That's the rule. If you can't play by the rules then you shouldn't be making paper plates, goddamnit.

People are fucking stupid.